–noun
- a person who evades his or her duty or work; shirker.
- a person who evades military service.
- an esp. educated young person who is antimaterialistic, purposeless, apathetic, and usually works in a dead-end job.
- Me, when it comes to yard work, various household chores, and maintaining a blog.
While #3 has a certain familiarity with respect to my life (except the "young" and "antimaterialistic" parts), I had to add #4 for no other reason than I'm becoming vaguely aware of my neighbors' disdain for my lawn maintenance skills. I can tell because in the mumbling mutterings of my neighbors, the word slacker rings out loud and clear (and no, I'm not imagining this). It's not that I'm incompetent in the use of a lawnmower or a weedeater. I actually pride myself in my ability to push a lawnmower in a relatively straight line, and I've got "skillz" when it comes to edging. But in modern suburbia, where a man is measured by the greenness of his lawn, I suffer the daily humiliation of knowing the little old lady across the street has a green, weedless lawn--and I don't.
Of course in polite suburban society, people don't openly criticize a man's inability to grow grass. It's just not done. But behind the words of neighborly encouragement that "it'll green up after it rains" lies the unspoken sentiment "it better... or else." I'm not really too worried about the "or else" part because I'm bigger than they are, and worse comes to worst, I can swing Bryan around like a 35-pound mace (he likes that sorta thing). Still, I want to be a good neighbor, and being a good neighbor means being in tune with the neighborhood ethos. Around here that means eager participation in a weekly regimen of aeration, liming, fertilizing, mowing, raking, bagging, edging, pruning, clipping, and ritual sacrifice to the god known as Scotts, who makes all things heavenly green with his gift of Turf Builder®. Problem is, I'm just too damn lazy. Too apathetic. Too much a slacker.
Oh, and I'd like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to my second reader, Scott (no, not the god). Scott has been my partner in crime and academic underachievement since the third grade. A better friend no man can find. Hi Scott!
4 comments:
I still prefer the term "underachiever". First, it is five syllables - over twice the size of slacker. Plus it has "achiever" as part of the whole. It feels as if I am doing something, even though I could be doing more. And really, should EVERYONE be doing more?
Yes, but doesn't being a slacker, or underachiever, require that one adhere to the principle of economy of effort? Five syllables is three syllables too many. Actually, come to think of it, even the term slacker is one syllable too many when compared to the equally apt description of slug.
Or bum, three letters and close to each other on the keyboard.
It's more about connotation. I would rather search for shells and treasures along a beach than most any other activity. And I prefer beach comber to beach bum. Spin.
While I do agree that economy of effort is the key principle, it is also about gratification. Would you rather have a lush green lawn or three to five hours more sleep on a Saturday morning? Or more time with family doing family things? Or more time blogging???
At the end of the day and you reflect back, look out your window. All lawns look the same in the dark...
Zen. And a little "spin."
Ahhh... your word-fu is strong [deep bow]. But as Dogen Zenji said "a flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it." Clearly he refers to my lawn.
By the way, ever notice the letters that fill in the B-U-M triangle on the keyboard? J-H-N. Hmmmmmm...
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