Perfection

NOTICE: the topic of this blog post deals with food. If you have an aversion to blog posts discussing this topic, please avert your gaze or click on the provided link. Always consult your physician before starting a regimen of reading blog posts discussing food. If you feel shortness of breath or lightheaded while reading this blog post, stop and seek immediate medical attention.

In case you hadn't noticed, the world came to an abrupt halt yesterday for three hours. It was so abrupt I thought we were all going to be thrown from the face of the planet into the icy depths of space! During that time, Starbucks took it upon itself to cease operations, forego profit and retrain their baristas (which sounds an awful lot like a Cockney barrister, but I digress) in the art of drawing the perfect espresso. This isn't small change; based on the company's 2007 revenue, most of it coming from its 7000 stores in the US, Starbucks pulls in a little over $1 million an hour, $3.50 at a time.

The problem is technology and automation. Starbucks went to automatic espresso makers about a year ago. Since then it's been trial and error just to find that Starbucks flavor that we've all grown addic... err, to love. My own mocha order started sounding like Steve Martin's in L.A. Story. "I'd like a quad venti mocha, nonfat, no whip, three pumps." While I'm sure Starbucks was looking forward to the profit acquired from its customers ordering extra shots, I bet that was offset by fewer sales as orders grew longer and more complex, all in an effort to recreate what was a pretty decent mocha to begin with.

So, I put Starbucks to the test this morning. Pulling up in the drive-thru, I engaged in the idle chit-chat with the woman manning the register. I suspect there's a company policy that tells them to do this. Still, they do it artfully. I told her it was test time... "I'd like a venti mocha." I felt as if I was forgetting something, that it couldn't be that simple, but I suppressed the urge to futz with it. I was met at the window with my customary pumpkin loaf, napkins galore, and it. The woman looked at me expectantly, as if I was going to try it right there, then followed up with "please tell us if you like it." Oh, I will, I thought in that sinister whisper voice I'm known to occasionally employ for effect. As I drove away, I nibbled on the pumpkin loaf, almost hesitant to take that first sip. Such high expectations I had. Was I being unfair?

At the first stop light, I raised my cup (made of 10% post-consumer recycled fiber) and took the first sip of the rest of my life. Hmmmmmmm... no insulin shock from the chocolate... not so strong that it puts (more) hair on my back... not acidic... it's... It's... IT'S... PERFECT! And I rejoiced--yay.

So they did it. In three short hours, Starbucks rediscovered their roots and the secret of making a decent mocha. Mostly machine-made, but what isn't?

If a weapon were made of barbeque spare ribs...

...would you eat it? :)

Man that pisses me off!

I don't think I'm prone to fits of anger, but some things just set me off. Two things that immediately come to mind are:

1. Berkeley, California

They don't call it "Bezerkely" for nuthin'. Not surprisingly, the Berkeley city council gave the Code Pink asshats a parking space out in front of the Marine Corps Officer Selection Office and in essence told them to go to town in trying to drive the Marines out of town. That's the funny thing about the anti-military types; they don't really know anything about the military. If they did, they would know the Marines don't give up ground.

Actually, that little stunt isn't what pisses me off. It's to be expected, and frankly, if Code Pink wants to protest, so be it. Not as the "useful idiots" of the Berkeley city council, mind you, but I think everyone should be given equal opportunity to speak their mind. Free speech--right on, man!

No, what pisses me off is the city council's response when the state legislature grabbed 'em by the financial short hairs and told them to knock it off. For example, take this statement made by Mayor Tom Bates.

I have heard from people all over the country regarding the action taken by the Berkeley City Council regarding the Marines recruiting center.

I bet you have.

Let me be absolutely clear that this is not about the men and women who are serving our country in our armed forces. I am a retired U.S. Army Captain and I respect the choice of those who are serving our country.

Translation: it's about the men and women serving in our armed forces--we're going to make it our mission to badger the few, the proud, the Marines who work in recruiting center into leaving Berkeley.

And, really, if you're so respectful of the choice to serve our country, why are you interfering with their ability to make this choice?

However, this community strongly opposes the war in Iraq and the foreign policy of the current administration. I believed from the beginning that this was an unjust, illegal, and immoral war of choice.

Yeah, whatever. Get in line.

A year ago, the U.S. Marines established a recruiting office within a few blocks of our local high school, community college and university. Since then, community members who oppose the war in Iraq have been exercising their free speech in protesting the presence of the Marine recruiters. Pro-war protestors have also attended to exercise their free speech rights.

That's fine and dandy, but you crossed a line, as you've been painfully made aware.

On January 28th, the Berkeley City Council took action to waive the permit fee for anti-war protestors one afternoon a week. Any group, whether pro- or anti- war, can obtain such a permit. In addition, the City Council indicated its desire for the Marine recruiting station, as a visible symbol of the war, to be relocated.

Pardon my skepticism, but somehow I doubt that. And since when is a recruiting station a "visible symbol of the war?" It's a visible symbol of the Marine Corp--the Marine Corps is not "the war," and it's that kind of 'logic' that makes nutjobs think it's ok to target "symbols."

I understand that there are people across the country that may not agree with this action but it is the Berkeley City Council's responsibility to represent the will of the people of Berkeley.

If the "will of the people" was to arrest the Marine recruiters as "war criminals," as the Code Pinkers like to call them, would you do that, Mayor Tom?

I also understand that the language proposed to the Council did not adequately differentiate our respect and support for those serving in the armed forced and our opposition to the Iraq war policy. I will be working with the Council to clarify that language at our next meeting.

Translation: please don't cut off our state and federal funding.

I hope that our country will end the war in Iraq soon and bring our troops home safely. We are truly fortunate to live in a country that can tolerate and accept a range of views and opinions.

Bullshit. If you were truly tolerant of the range of views and opinions in your 'fair' city, you wouldn't have given Code Pink a blank check to harass the Marines and their neighbors. The statement in total is disingenuous and the actions of Code Pink and the Berkeley city council are a blatant example of the utter hypocrisy of The Left.

However, my annoyance has been tempered somewhat by those stepping up to the plate to defend the Marines. I was most amused by this account. My favorite excerpts:

4:00 pm- Waterboarding time! WHoohoo! The moment ive been waiting for! They begin by talking about the waterboard and spewingout the usual propaganda how over 1000000 Iraqs died from being waterboarded by US Marines from this recruiting station. As they are going down their list of facts, it gets worse and worse. the embellished facts were so numerous, I couldnt keep up. They have this guy lay down on the board, which is correctly set up. They then announce that a military vet will perform the demonstration. He takes a dishcloth and a 1 ltr soda bottle cut lengthwise and hides the bottle under the dishcloth. he then sets the bottle/dishcloth on the guys face with the inside of the water bottle forming a protective pocket over the guys face and proceeds to pour water on the dishcloth. The guy being "boarded" begins to convulse and jerk and try to sit up but gets pushed back down by his pseudo-interrorgator. All the while the "interrorgator is yelling "are you going to answer my questions?" At this point I step into the circle and yell out in my best Marine bass tones. ."YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!!! The vet looks up at me and goes "oh yea, how would you know?" I smiled at him and told him very loudly so everyone could hear, to "take the plastic bottle away from under the dishcloth and then do it!" This immediately draws a response from the guy laying on the board! He jumps up and yells out, "its just a safe demonstration of how it works!!!!" This obviously gets everyones attention including a few passerby's who begin to laugh uncontrollably! Apparently this wasnt the response that they was hoping for and decided that I should at this point become the focal point of their anger...

5:15 pm- I finally get to corner the veteran who performed the waterboarding demonstration. I ask him who he was with unitwise, mos, and his dates. His response was he was with 663rd Army in Panama, (see, this for the 663rd http://www.setaf.army.mil/663/history.htm) he was a radio operator, during his tours of early 1987 to late 1990 when he earned himself a silver star there in Desert Storm. So I asked him if he saw alot of action down there in Panama, to which he replied, "no, nothing happened the entire time I was down there". This immediately began to sound klaxons with my internal B.S. meter as I remember being in Panama in 1989 when we had to deal with Noriega. So I decided to press the subject a little bit farther and ask him where he learned the waterboarding technique then. He informed me that it was standard technique for SOF/Delta guys down there. So immediately I went into my "oh, so you went to JPAO (Joint Public Affairs Office) for your 922alpha certification ( Food Service Specialist and Food Service Technician MOS 92G / 922A.) then I assume, howd you like it?" His response was . ."it was hard, but I was a experienced Staff Nco". At this point I stated what JPAO/922a was and he should be ashamed of himself impersonating a military veteran.

Now on a more personal note...

2. Kitaros

This is (was) one of favorite restaurants. Because I'm lazy, I'll just do a copy & paste of my new and improved review.

So it's Valentine's Day and the place is packed, as you expect just about every restaurant to be. Unfortunately, law school recognizes neither love nor joy (nor hunger, for that matter) so I was unable to partake in the ritual that is Valentine's Day evening at a restaurant. But, I decided that I could do the next best thing and bring Kitaro's home. So, I find a spot at the bar, as is my custom, and fill out my sushi order only to be told they won't do carry-out because they're "too busy." Excuse me?! I could sit there at the bar, sip a Sapporro and have them serve me sushi rolls to the tune of $30, plus the cost of the beer and tip, but they won't serve me those same sushi rolls in a to-go container? I'm still paying $30 for sushi. I'm still buying a beer and paying a tip. The only difference is that I clear my spot at the bar a whole lot faster, making room for another paying customer who would otherwise leave because the place is packed. The junior associate deputy probationary bartender was very nice in light of my incredulity and asked the real bartender if this was, in fact, the policy. She even went so far as to wander off to find a manager, but such efforts are pointless. Any manager who comes up with such a ridiculously illogical policy in the first place isn't going to change it in the face of an annoyed regular, who will no longer be a regular. As the saying goes, "you can't fix stupid."

Ahh... I feel much better.